The perennial fun-suckers of America are at it again.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PETA for short, have set their small minded sights on a new target: Joe Louis Arena and the Detroit Red Wings.

According to a report, PETA is asking the Red Wings to fine people $5,000, be ejected from the game, and be BANNED FOR LIFE for throwing an octopus on the ice. You can see a portion of the statement from this group of morons below.

That’s right folks… A Hockeytown tradition that’s been in place long before PETA was even a thing is being challenged by idiots who look for nothing more than to stir up controversy. What makes it even more of a joke is they choose the final weekend of games at Joe Louis Arena to cause a stir.

Not only did the letter they sent to Chris Ilitch state that octopi are intelligent and sensitive animals who solve puzzles and open jars (!!! That’s actually neat), but the Morons of America also claim that throwing the 8-legged creature on the ice would be similar to Boston Bruins fans throwing dead bear cubs on the ice.

Are you kidding me?!? I need a minute to let the idiocy wash over me. First off, that sounds much more like something a Chicago Cubs fan would do. Second and more seriously, this is why people like myself and everyone else in Hockeytown can’t stand people like this. It’s further proof that you can’t do anything in today’s society without pissing some group off. 7.5 out of 10 times that group is PETA. Third, if you’re able to sneak a bear into TD Garden then you sir are a legend.

The throwing of octopi on the ice is a Detroit tradition that goes back to the early 1950’s when it then only took 8 wins to hoist the Stanley Cup. Why NOW does PETA think it’s acceptable to intervene in a tradition that’s been going on for over 60 years? Furthermore, why do they care? For the record, I’ve never bought an octopus nor thrown an octopus on the ice at Joe Louis Arena, but I’m certain the octopi are bought from local markets who intend on selling them for food. As painful as it is for these PETA idiots to hear, the octopi death is inevitable, if they don’t already arrive at The Joe dead. Might as well give the animal some 15 minutes of fame before the end. Oh but wait, everything has to be ethical in 2017. *pfffft*

The real question is when PETA will protest other teams who have followed in the Red Wings footsteps. Will they come to the rescue of poor catfish in Nashville? How about pounds of Alberta beef in Calgary? Will they look out for the rights of Jaws in San Jose?

Listen, PETA: We’re tired of your weak attempts to make everyone think the way you think and create an unwelcome uproar over absolutely nothing. This town is proud of something that makes us unique and refuse to cave to a meddling group of idiots who don’t know the difference between a red line and a clothes line. This is Hockeytown. This is our tradition. Don’t like it? Too bad. Keep your hands off our octopi.