When I was just a child, I was taught two things when it came to NFL football. First, that I bleed Honolulu blue and support the Detroit Lions, no matter what. And second, that I will cheer against every other team in the Lions’ division. Over time, my dislike for the Chicago Bears and the Minnesota Vikings has remained constant, but my pure HATRED for the Green Bay Packers has seemed to grow exponentially.
To be completely honest, there is not one thing about the Packers that I like. Literally, every single thing about that franchise annoys the hell out of me. In fact, I am getting upset right now as I write this. Screw the Packers and the horse they rode in on!
Anyways, my hatred for the Packers has never been higher, and I know that many of you feel the same way. So, here is a list of 10 reasons the Green Bay Packers are a joke.
#10 – Lambeau Field is a crap hole
Will somebody please explain to me why Lambeau Field is considered by many to be holy ground? I’m sure that the place was nice at one point, maybe 50 years ago, but this is 2016 and the stadium is a complete dump. It’s outdated and it’s time to bust out the wrecking ball! If I hear one more person spew the words, “the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field,” I seriously may have to be restrained. The stadium is an eye-sore, the field itself is a train wreck, and it’s time to move on Cheeseheads!
#9 – Cheeseheads
Speaking of Cheeseheads, have you ever seen anything more silly than a grown man or woman, or child for that matter wearing a big piece of foam, shaped as a piece of cheese, on their head? Neither have I. First of all, it would really chap my behind if somebody was wearing a huge piece of foam on their head, blocking my view of the game. Second of all, people actually pay money for those things! If I were the commissioner of the NFL, banning the Cheeseheads would definitely be on my agenda.
#8 – The Packers history is overrated
Why is it that so many people seem to believe that the Packers are the best franchise in NFL history? Ok, fine, they won the first two Super Bowls, but since then they have only won two more. Your god, Brett Favre, only won one and your butt boy Aaron Rodgers also has only one to his credit. Yes, the Green Bay Packers are one of the top franchises in NFL history, but they cannot touch franchises like the Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, New England Patriots, or Dallas Cowboys. So, Packers fans, shut up and stop acting like you are the top dog because that’s far from the truth.
#7 – The Lambeau Leap is stupid and overplayed
One of the worst parts about watching the Green Bay Packers play in their crap-hole of a stadium comes when they score a touchdown. Rather than just tossing the ball to the referee, or doing a celebration on the field, Packers players will often perform the overplayed “Lambeau Leap” into the stands. What is it that makes a professional football player want to jump into the stands to have their butt grabbed by a bunch of cheesehead-wearing, sweaty, drunk fans? If I never saw another “Lambeau Leap” I would be one happy camper.
#6 – Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers
Two of my least favorite players in NFL history happen to former Packers quarterback Brett Favre and current Packers signal-caller, Aaron Rodgers. I have stopped trying to decide which of the two is more annoying because there is no answer. How many times have you heard, “Favre is a gunslinger?” You probably lost count, right? So, because a guy throws a stupid pass and a receiver bails him out, he is praised for being a gunslinger? Dear Lord, help me.
Oh, and he did this to the Lions.
Today in 1994: Brett Favre's 40-yard TD pass to Sterling Sharpe pushes Packers to 28-24 Wild Card win over Lions. pic.twitter.com/p0d2GkCF4h
— Packers History (@HistoricPackers) January 8, 2016
Then you have Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers makes me want to punch him in the teeth whenever he walks onto the field with that stupid little grin of his. I don’t care if he is one of the most accurate passers ever to play the game. Yes, he is good, way better than Favre by the way, but man is he unlikable. Rodgers can take his “discount double-check” dance and shove it. Somehow, the annoying dance even managed to hurt the Lions.
#5 – “Go Pack, Go!” (Suck it Packers!)
Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? Just listen in to the Packers fans singing the only song they are smart enough to learn, “Go Pack, Go!”
Check out the lyrics for this piece of crap song.
Go Pack go!
Go Pack go!
Go Pack go!
I’m sure that students in Wisconsin spent their entire music class time from 1st through 5th grade memorizing the lines of this doozy.
#4 – Yellow and Green? Seriously?
I know, calling out another team for their uniform colors is a bit weak, but in the case of the Packers, it has to be done. If the yellow and green color combination is not the worst in professional sports, I do not know what is. Was light brown and pink not available? I mean, seriously, they could have picked just about anything and that is what the Packers organization came up with? I don’t care if I was left on the steps of Lambeau Field as a baby, it would be very difficult for me to ever wear the yellow and green combination.
#3 – Losing streak at Lambeau (Even though it’s over)
In 2015, the Detroit Lions ended their incredibly long losing streak in Wisconsin. Even though the losing streak ended, the talk has now become, “the Packers own the Lions in Green Bay,” rather than just admitting it’s over. The Lions losing streak in the state of Wisconsin definitely plays a huge role in my deep hatred for the Green Bay Packers. Unfortunately, unless the Lions can start winning there on a regular basis, the losing streak will continue to haunt me, even though IT IS OVER!!!
#2 – Super Bowl wins
In case you have not heard, my team, the Detroit Lions have yet to win a Super Bowl. Check that, the Lions have never even played in a Super Bowl! The fact that the hated Packers have two Super Bowl wins since I have been following football, just eats at me. It hurts to think that I can never compare that Lions to the Packers, in terms of what takes place on the field, until Detroit wins at least one Super Bowl, but probably two. For the moment, we will just have to use our imagination.
#1 – The Hail Mary
I really hate to do this to you, but let’s go back to Ford Field during Week 13 of the 2015 NFL regular season. The Lions were leading the Packers 23-21 with no time left on the clock at the Green Bay 39 yard line. The Lions were just one play away from sweeping the season series against the Packers until Aaron Rodgers avoided pressure, rolled out to his right, and launched the ball over 65 yards in the air. Of course, the ball was caught by Packers tight end Richard Rodgers for the game-winning touchdown. When the play happened, all I could do was stare at my television in disbelief.
the movement (@AintNobodySafe1) December 4, 2015
As a Lions fan, if you did not hate the Green Bay Packers prior to the 2015 season, you do now.