10 Reasons why the Green Bay Packers (and their fans) suck

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When I was just a child, I was taught two things when it came to NFL football. First, that I bleed Honolulu blue and support the Detroit Lions, no matter what. And second, that I will cheer against every other team in the Lions’ division. Over time, my dislike for the Chicago Bears and the Minnesota Vikings has remained constant, but my pure HATRED for the Green Bay Packers has seemed to grow exponentially.

To be completely honest, there is not one thing about the Packers that I like. Literally, every single thing about that franchise annoys the hell out of me. In fact, I am getting upset right now as I write this. Screw the Packers and the horse they rode in on!

Anyways, my hatred for the Packers has never been higher, and I know that many of you feel the same way. So, here is a list of 10 reasons the Green Bay Packers are a joke.

#10 – Lambeau Field is a crap hole

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Will somebody please explain to me why Lambeau Field is considered by many to be holy ground? I’m sure that the place was nice at one point, maybe 50 years ago, but this is 2016 and the stadium is a complete dump. It’s outdated and it’s time to bust out the wrecking ball! If I hear one more person spew the words, “the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field,” I seriously may have to be restrained. The stadium is an eye-sore, the field itself is a train wreck, and it’s time to move on Cheeseheads!


#9 – Cheeseheads

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Speaking of Cheeseheads, have you ever seen anything more silly than a grown man or woman, or child for that matter wearing a big piece of foam, shaped as a piece of cheese, on their head? Neither have I. First of all, it would really chap my behind if somebody was wearing a huge piece of foam on their head, blocking my view of the game. Second of all, people actually pay money for those things! If I were the commissioner of the NFL, banning the Cheeseheads would definitely be on my agenda.


#8 – The Packers history is overrated

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Why is it that so many people seem to believe that the Packers are the best franchise in NFL history? Ok, fine, they won the first two Super Bowls, but since then they have only won two more. Your god, Brett Favre, only won one and your butt boy Aaron Rodgers also has only one to his credit. Yes, the Green Bay Packers are one of the top franchises in NFL history, but they cannot touch franchises like the Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, New England Patriots, or Dallas Cowboys. So, Packers fans, shut up and stop acting like you are the top dog because that’s far from the truth.


#7 – The Lambeau Leap is stupid and overplayed

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One of the worst parts about watching the Green Bay Packers play in their crap-hole of a stadium comes when they score a touchdown. Rather than just tossing the ball to the referee, or doing a celebration on the field, Packers players will often perform the overplayed “Lambeau Leap” into the stands. What is it that makes a professional football player want to jump into the stands to have their butt grabbed by a bunch of cheesehead-wearing, sweaty, drunk fans? If I never saw another “Lambeau Leap” I would be one happy camper.


#6 – Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers

Two of my least favorite players in NFL history happen to former Packers quarterback Brett Favre and current Packers signal-caller, Aaron Rodgers. I have stopped trying to decide which of the two is more annoying because there is no answer. How many times have you heard, “Favre is a gunslinger?” You probably lost count, right? So, because a guy throws a stupid pass and a receiver bails him out, he is praised for being a gunslinger? Dear Lord, help me.

Oh, and he did this to the Lions.

Then you have Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers makes me want to punch him in the teeth whenever he walks onto the field with that stupid little grin of his. I don’t care if he is one of the most accurate passers ever to play the game. Yes, he is good, way better than Favre by the way, but man is he unlikable. Rodgers can take his “discount double-check” dance and shove it. Somehow, the annoying dance even managed to hurt the Lions.


#5 – “Go Pack, Go!” (Suck it Packers!)

Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? Just listen in to the Packers fans singing the only song they are smart enough to learn, “Go Pack, Go!”

Check out the lyrics for this piece of crap song.

Song Lyrics

Go Pack go!
Go Pack go!
Go Pack go!

I’m sure that students in Wisconsin spent their entire music class time from 1st through 5th grade memorizing the lines of this doozy.

Make…It…Stop!


#4 – Yellow and Green? Seriously?

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I know, calling out another team for their uniform colors is a bit weak, but in the case of the Packers, it has to be done. If the yellow and green color combination is not the worst in professional sports, I do not know what is. Was light brown and pink not available? I mean, seriously, they could have picked just about anything and that is what the Packers organization came up with? I don’t care if I was left on the steps of Lambeau Field as a baby, it would be very difficult for me to ever wear the yellow and green combination.


#3 – Losing streak at Lambeau (Even though it’s over)

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In 2015, the Detroit Lions ended their incredibly long losing streak in Wisconsin. Even though the losing streak ended, the talk has now become, “the Packers own the Lions in Green Bay,” rather than just admitting it’s over. The Lions losing streak in the state of Wisconsin definitely plays a huge role in my deep hatred for the Green Bay Packers. Unfortunately, unless the Lions can start winning there on a regular basis, the losing streak will continue to haunt me, even though IT IS OVER!!!


#2 – Super Bowl wins

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In case you have not heard, my team, the Detroit Lions have yet to win a Super Bowl. Check that, the Lions have never even played in a Super Bowl! The fact that the hated Packers have two Super Bowl wins since I have been following football, just eats at me. It hurts to think that I can never compare that Lions to the Packers, in terms of what takes place on the field, until Detroit wins at least one Super Bowl, but probably two. For the moment, we will just have to use our imagination.


 

#1 – The Hail Mary

I really hate to do this to you, but let’s go back to Ford Field during Week 13 of the 2015 NFL regular season. The Lions were leading the Packers 23-21 with no time left on the clock at the Green Bay 39 yard line. The Lions were just one play away from sweeping the season series against the Packers until Aaron Rodgers avoided pressure, rolled out to his right, and launched the ball over 65 yards in the air. Of course, the ball was caught by Packers tight end Richard Rodgers for the game-winning touchdown. When the play happened, all I could do was stare at my television in disbelief.

As a Lions fan, if you did not hate the Green Bay Packers prior to the 2015 season, you do now.

 

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9 thoughts on “10 Reasons why the Green Bay Packers (and their fans) suck”

  1. Sorry, Green Bay Packers have won the most NFL championships,period! Your lions were pretty good in the 50’s, they won a few championships,just because you were not born when they occurred doesn’t mean they don’t matter! My father obtained his season tickets in 1947, I went to my first game in September of 1957,I was 5 years old. Until this year I have attend games for 63 years, our family are shareholders of the Green Bay Packers and our seats are in row 7 and 8 . I don’t hate your team,I respect the legacy of the Chicago bears, they’re 2nd to us in NFL championships. The Vikings have none, but they are the worst fans(must be something about only kissing your sister) they pump in artificial noise in their stadium. Vince Lombardi said your life priorities are first,GOD, 2nd family then the Green Bay Packers

  2. Green Bay is just a glorified high school team. When they fired Mike McCarthy in 2018, I referred to it in a text to my sister that “high school team up north” fired their coach.

  3. Pretty sure Go Pack Go is a cheer and not a song lmao. Roll out the barrel is more the official song of the Packers. Sounds like a crybaby if I ever heard one.

    Two of your best talents to ever play the game Johnson and Sanders both left in the prime of their careers, what does that tell you about your team? I Guarantee you the writer of this article would not say nearly what he did about our two quarterbacks If either one of them played for his team. Sadly, had Favre or Rodgers played for the Lions; both likely would’ve never enjoyed the long SUCCESSFUL careers that they did as they would’ve walked away dejected from the game that they love because of poor management of a shit team in a shithole city.

  4. Talk about being a poor sport! Picking on the way fans choose to cheer on their team, which technically hurts not one person, is pretty low. This is a free country you know. I have lived in Wisconsin all my life. As a young child i was a Vikings fan, then a 49er fan. But I still love my Packers. Grow up baby!!

  5. Sixty years ago, Detroit had a decent football team. Then they built a stadium so they could play indoors which was the beginning of their downfall. Then they built the dollhouse downtown Detroit. They were then known as the dollies. Now they are known as the li downs who always try for the highest draft pick!

  6. As a Doctor I’m advising you to seek the care of a professional. You are clearly entering what we have termed post athletic Psychosis as the disease progresses you will become confused and will express a desire to wager that The New York Giants and the Detroit Lions will become the two winningest teams in the NFL. Please contact the Center For Disturbed Football Fantasies
    As soon as possible

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