With the NFL’s regular season winding to an end, there’s an ocean of “rooting” guides out there to digest. Full of reckless optimism for (insert team here) to make the playoffs if x, y, and z all fall into place, it seems like they miss the mark. In fact, that vast ocean feels a lot like being up sh*t creek. No paddle of course.
They promise to be a quick breakdown of who we the fans should be cheering for outside of our own team. Really, they’re nothing more than a crude explanation of what tiebreakers are needed for which teams to reach the postseason. What’s insightful about a written explanation of ESPN’s playoff machine? And more importantly, why is THAT scenario the one we should be rooting for? Why are some of us so desperate to squeak into the wild card by the skin of our teeth just to get sent home with our tails between our legs?
http://gty.im/896558618
This rooting guide is not like the others. This is your REAL Detroit Lions rooting guide for REAL fans. For those who root for a brighter future. For those who root for so much more than peaking at wild card fodder. For those who root for a future that involves *gasp* a potential Super Bowl appearance. For those of you with rational rooting interests, this is YOUR rooting guide.
WE’RE ROOTING FOR CHANGE
We are rooting for the kind of change that another one-and-done playoff appearance won’t bring. The kind that says the status quo is NOT acceptable. The kind that doesn’t tolerate having nine men on the field during a crucial point of a season-defining drive. The kind that recognizes an end-goal much greater than the small enjoyments of the present.
And that means sacrificing some short-term gain for longterm success. It’s time to find out where your loyalties truly lay. Are you prepared to make those sacrifices for the greater good?
Say it with me now.
“I don’t want the Lions to make the playoffs this season.”
WHAT?!
“I DON’T WANT THE LIONS TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS THIS SEASON!”
That’s right. We don’t. In a year where Case Keenum was the best opposing quarterback in the NFC North, Detroit needs a lot of help just to sneak in as a wild card. But we don’t want it. We shouldn’t need that help. Not in a year where Aaron Rodgers missed half a season (and both games against the Lions). Not in a year Chicago is starting a rookie behind center during a complete rebuild and Minnesota is being led by their third choice at quarterback.
http://gty.im/895726006
If Detroit’s current makeup can’t get it done in those circumstances, when will they ever?
They won’t.
And that leaves only one rational outcome. Change. But change will only come about through complete failure. This is not an organization that will start handing out pink slips after a 10-win playoff appearance, circumstances be damned.
WE’RE ROOTING AGAINST THE LIONS
We are rooting against the Lions so that we may root for them with glee and maybe even expectation in the future. Here is your REAL official rooting guide.
Sunday, December 24, 2017 (Week 16)
Detroit Lions (8-6) at Cincinnati Bengals (5-9) 1 PM
Root for: Cincinnati
Atlanta Falcons (9-5) at New Orleans Saints (10-4) 1 PM
Root for: Atlanta
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-10) at Carolina Panthers (10-4) 1 PM
Root for: Carolina
Seattle Seahawks (8-6) at Dallas Cowboys (8-6) 4:25 PM
Root For: A tie (or a Dallas win)
Why?
A Lions loss ends the playoff charade via immediate elimination. It’s the simplest way to put another lost season behind them and move towards the future. Bonus points if Jim Caldwell yet again blunders a big moment leading to the loss. If Detroit beats an also-ran Bengals team, things will get interesting.
An Atlanta win in the Big Easy would drive the largest potential stake into the Lions playoff heart but it wouldn’t quite be fatal due to potential three-way tiebreakers Detroit would win. A Panthers win would put their win total out of Detroit’s reach and eliminate them from a three-way tie scenario. Likewise, a tie between Dallas and Seattle eliminates both teams from any potential three-way ties. With a tie being unlikely, a Dallas win is the next best thing.
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One of Dallas or Seattle will have to win out (in addition to New Orleans or Carolina losing out) to trigger a three-way tie for the last wildcard spot if Detroit wins their two remaining games. Dallas faces a much tougher Week 17 matchup in Philadelphia than Seattle does at home against Arizona, making a Dallas win more palatable to the end goal.
Sunday, December 31, 2017 (Week 17)
Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions 1 PM
Root for: Green Bay
Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons 1 PM
Root for: Atlanta
Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles 1 PM
Root for: Philadelphia
New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1 PM
Root for: New Orleans
Arizona Cardinals at Seattle Seahawks 4:25 PM
Root for: Arizona
Why?
This is where things can start to get convoluted based on Week 16’s results but I’ll keep it as simple as possible. As in week 16, a week 17 loss by Detroit would end it all – no math necessary. Coaching mistakes are encouraged. If the Lions beat another bad team (they usually do), things will get messy.
Atlanta poses the biggest threat to the Lions playoff chances. The Falcons losing out provides Detroit with their best chances of sneaking in. A Carolina win can only benefit the Lions playoff odds. You’re all Falcons fans for the next two weeks.
An Eagles win ends the Cowboys chances of creating a three-way tie as does a Cardinals win against the Seahawks. Go birds (that haven’t won a Super Bowl). New Orleans needs to avoid losing out as well so you’ll have to flip the script from week 16 and become Saints fans.
Bottom Line
The Lions can control their own fate by dropping one of their last two games to eliminate themselves from playoff contention. Since they never take charge of their own destiny, we’ll need some cooperation from the NFC South (and a few extras) to ensure Detroit stays home for the postseason.
http://gty.im/670099402
It may feel blasphemous to actively root against our own, but keep in perspective that we’re rooting for a superior future. That starts with missing the playoffs in inexcusable fashion.
Just remember, when recovering, things often get worse before they get better.
See Tom Brady wrapping those grubby paws around another Lombardi Trophy? THAT is what we want!
