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Huge injury news out of Minnesota hurts Detroit’s chances Sunday

While the Detroit Lions offered some encouraging reports about the health of Jarrad DavisTravis Swanson, and Taylor Decker earlier today, it’s an injury update from the other land of lakes that should grab the attention of fans.

*Warning: Heavy satire alert!

Starting quarterback, Sam Bradford, will not be suiting up against the Lions on Sunday. The Minnesota Vikings will turn back to superstar-in-waiting Case Keenum under center, who just finished washing down the corpse of Tampa Bay.

No, seriously.

This defense should want no part of that Tom Brady reincarnate. What, you think that’s hyperbole?

What’s that? Oh, just Keenum nipping at the GOAT’s heels. Matthew Stafford might be money but he’ll have to go blow for blow with greatness to help the Lions pull out a big road win in Minnesota.

The real focus should be on Teryl Austin’s defense that just gave up 30 (!!!) points at home to a shaky Matt Ryan despite picking him off three times and taking points off the board. How can they hope to slow a superior quarterback in Keenum within the comfy confines of the Metrodome U.S. Bank Stadium?

That’s right, superior.

Check the report.

NUMBERS NEVER LIE.

It looks like the Lions are going to have their hands full in this one.

With Davis and Swanson both back at practice, Detroit may be getting much needed reinforcements. We can only pray, as fans, that it will be enough to overcome the incredible medley of unexpected talent the Vikings have unearthed. The division, no, the season depends on it.

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