Detroit Tigers fans are preparing to say goodbye to one of the greatest pitchers in franchise history.

Naturally, Mike Valenti found a reason to complain about it.

During Thursday’s edition of The Valenti Show with Rico on 97.1 The Ticket, Valenti unloaded on the Tigers’ two-day Justin Verlander celebration, calling the farewell “tasteless,” “embarrassing” and “pathetic.”

“This Verlander fiesta this weekend, I find it tasteless. I find it embarrassing. ‘Pathetic’ is the word I would use,” Valenti said. “Unlike Miguel Cabrera, who actively played here and stayed here and finished the entire season, the only thing Verlander should be given this year is the annual Alex Cobb Award for guy who got paid to not show up to work.”

Subtlety has never been Valenti’s specialty. This time, however, the resident windbag sounded less like someone offering an unpopular sports opinion and more like someone personally offended that thousands of people might enjoy something he does not.

Valenti Reduces Verlander’s Farewell to a Money Grab

Valenti’s primary complaint was that Verlander did almost nothing to help the Tigers during the 2026 season.

That part is difficult to dispute.

The 43-year-old made only one start, allowing five runs over 3⅔ innings on March 30 before hip inflammation and a subsequent hamstring injury derailed his comeback. Detroit was eliminated from postseason contention before the final weekend, meaning Saturday’s start will have no impact on the playoff race.

Valenti believes that makes the entire celebration performative.

“He did nothing to help this team this year,” Valenti said. “And now this just strikes me as, ‘Let’s move some daiquiris.’”

“This is Justin Verlander getting an ego stroke,” he continued. “If this team was going into this weekend and the playoffs are on the line, guess who’s not pitching Saturday? There’s no world they would put out Grandpa Simpson. There’s no world.

“But here we are. So this is now performative. This is old-timers’ day.”

Valenti is probably right that Verlander would not start a must-win game after going nearly six months without facing Major League hitters.

He is wrong to act as if that somehow invalidates the moment.

Valenti Hopes Verlander Gets Destroyed in the First Inning

Valenti did not stop at questioning the celebration or mocking the Tigers for selling tickets.

He admitted that the “Larry David” in him wanted Verlander’s final start to become a complete disaster.

“I hope he gives up 11 runs in the first inning,” Valenti said.

That is no longer criticism of the Tigers’ marketing strategy. It is actively rooting for one of the greatest players in franchise history to be humiliated during the final appearance of his career.

Valenti also said, “I can’t wait till he throws three pitches and leaves.”

Perhaps both lines were intended as dark comedy. That does not make them any less ridiculous.

Fans are not required to pretend that Verlander has been productive this season. They are also not obligated to root for him to get crushed simply because the Tigers were eliminated from playoff contention.

There is a considerable gap between refusing to romanticize the farewell and hoping an all-time Tigers great gets shelled before recording three outs. Valenti sprinted across it.

Saturday Was Never Supposed to Be About the 2026 Standings

The Tigers are not asking fans to celebrate Verlander’s 2026 season.

They are asking them to celebrate a 21-year career that began in Detroit and included an American League Rookie of the Year Award, three Cy Young Awards, an AL MVP, three no-hitters, 266 victories and more than 3,500 strikeouts.

The team’s two-day farewell schedule includes a bobblehead giveaway, an Orange Out, a pregame ceremony, a career television special, fireworks and tributes to Verlander’s charitable work.

Fans are not filling Comerica Park because they believe Verlander will suddenly rescue a failed season. They are buying tickets because this is their final opportunity to watch a future Hall of Famer pitch in the uniform where his career began.

That distinction should not be difficult to understand.

The official career celebration page frames the weekend around Verlander’s entire career and his lasting impact on Detroit—not the handful of innings he managed to throw in 2026.

Valenti knows that. He simply does not care.

Valenti Cannot Understand Why Fans Bought Tickets

Valenti seemed genuinely astonished that Saturday’s game had sold out despite Detroit’s elimination.

“That’s unbelievable to me,” Valenti said. “Think about what you just said: A team eliminated from the playoffs. They cannot play. Talking sold-out, standing-room-only seats.

“It’s insane. And on a Saturday where Michigan’s playing a ranked opponent, Michigan State’s got an interesting game. Hell, you want me to throw a YOLO ball? I’d rather go out to Waldo Field—Waldo Stadium—and watch Western host Boise.

“There’s no world I’d be down at that ballpark. I’m blown away by some of the things people fall for.”

There is the most irritating part of Valenti’s argument.

Choosing not to attend is perfectly reasonable. Fans angry about the Tigers’ miserable season have every right to stay home, watch college football or spend their money somewhere else.

But people who purchased tickets did not “fall for” anything.

They made a conscious decision to witness the final appearance of a player who helped define an era of Detroit baseball. Many watched Verlander develop from a hard-throwing prospect into the best pitcher in the American League. Parents who attended his early starts can now bring their children to his last one.

That is not gullibility. It is sentiment.

Sports would be painfully empty without it.

Verlander Has Not Treated This Like a Ceremonial Appearance

Valenti also portrayed Verlander as a willing participant in a meaningless circus.

“I just see it all as a circus,” Valenti said. “And he is the clown that’s going to show up and is going to dance. He’s going to do all the tricks for you. But if this team weren’t eliminated, he doesn’t pitch.”

That characterization ignores the physical work Verlander completed to make this start possible.

He spent months rehabilitating his hip and hamstring, threw multiple bullpen sessions and completed a simulated inning before the Tigers officially cleared him. Verlander has acknowledged that he skipped parts of a traditional rehabilitation process and risked serious injury because he wanted one final opportunity to pitch in Detroit.

He has also rejected the idea of making a one-inning cameo merely to wave at the crowd. Verlander wants to compete and has told reporters that he hopes to give the Tigers a chance to win.

The plan became official only after he passed his final bullpen test, removing the last health-related uncertainty surrounding his final Major League start.

None of that guarantees Verlander will pitch well. It does establish that he has treated the assignment more seriously than Valenti suggested.

Tigers Fans Are Allowed to Remember the Good Years

When another member of the show referenced baseball’s romanticism, Valenti responded with another complaint about the current team.

“What romance do we have with this team this year?” he asked. “This team put us through hell.”

Again, fans are not celebrating this team’s season.

They are celebrating the pitcher who won 183 games during his two stints with Detroit, anchored multiple playoff rotations and delivered some of the most dominant performances in franchise history.

Verlander’s departure for Houston in 2017 does not erase those memories. Neither does Detroit’s failure to win a World Series during his first tenure. Fans are permitted to appreciate what happened without pretending the story was perfect.

Valenti is also allowed to be cynical. He can watch Michigan, Michigan State or Western Michigan instead. He can avoid the ballpark, the ceremonies, the daiquiris and the parking fees that appear to trouble him so deeply.

What he cannot do is define the meaning of the day for everyone else.

Saturday is not about pretending Verlander saved the 2026 Tigers. It is about allowing a baseball city to thank one of its greatest players before he walks away for good.

If Valenti finds that tasteless and embarrassing, fine.

If he wants Verlander to surrender 11 runs in the first inning, that says considerably more about Valenti than it does about the fans filling Comerica Park.