BREAKING: Detroit Lions sign QB Cam Newton

The Detroit Lions have made a shocking move in free agency, signing veteran quarterback Cam Newton to a one-year deal. Sources close to the team say that Newton had a private meeting with head coach Dan Campbell and general manager Brad Holmes, and the three hit it off over some beers and mozzarella sticks.

Cam Newton Detroit Lions

Key Points

  • Lions make shocking move by signing QB Cam Newton
  • Newton has received a 1-year deal from the Lions
  • The Lions made the decision after having a couple of beers and mozzarella sticks

Dan Campbell and Brad Holmes Welcome Cam Newton to Detroit Lions

Campbell, who is known for his tough-guy persona, welcomed Newton to the team in a statement, saying, “We're thrilled to have Cam on board, even though I hope to never see him on the field in an actual game. He's a great guy and he brings a lot of energy to the locker room.”

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Holmes, who vowed not to wait until the end of training camp to find a backup quarterback, explained his decision to sign Newton. “Look, everyone worth a crap was already signed elsewhere, so we decided that bringing in Cam would be just splendid for the culture in our locker room. Plus, he's got a great smile.”

Newton surprised he was offered a contract

For his part, Newton seemed shocked by the Lions' interest in him. “I don't know what these guys were thinking,” he said. “Dan and Brad both seemed pretty drunk when they offered me a contract, but hey, I'm not one to turn down a good time. I'll do my best to bring some fun and excitement to this team.”

Bottom Line: Always look at the calendar around this time of year!

Of course, it's worth noting that this entire report is an April Fool's joke. There is no truth to the rumor that the Lions have signed Newton, and fans can rest assured that the team is still looking for another quarterback as training camp approaches. But hey, we can all dream, can't we? Happy April Fool's Day, Lions fans! Thanks for having a little bit of fun with us!

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  1. It’s not really that big of a April fool’s joke to be honest. He’s the kind of backup quarterback we’re looking for. You would have been better off with Big Ben or something like that.

      • Mostly because he hasn’t been good enough to lead an NFL team in about 5 seasons. I was questioning why the Lions would want his bum ass…

  2. I was so excited to hear this news. Although the “Silly-Writer” who makes this an April Fool’s Joke, in reality, Cam Newton would be an EXCELLENT CHOICE for the Detroit Lions to sign. Cam Newton has had an NFL Career that has earned him a Hall of Fame Resume’: Heisman, NFL Rookie of the Year, 3 Times Pro-Bowler. Cam is the NFL Leader in Rushing Touchdowns. Cam led the Carolina Panthers to 4 Play-Offs, 3 Division Titles, and a Super Bowl. He has many other accomplishments, too many to list here.
    Cam is a great Leader and still well-respected among his Peers in the NFL, especially young Athletes, who grew up watching Cam Newton play in College, as well as, in the NFL. Cam’s Energy is “contagious” and makes other Players better. I really believe your QB1, Jared Goff, would feel intimated by Cam Newton because of the way Players in the Locker-Room would RESPOND to him. Cam is HEALTHY now and showed his amazing skill-set Passing, during Auburn’s Pro-Day.

    Next Football Season in 2023, this April Fool’s Joke is going to COME-BACK-ON the Detroit Lions. Jared Goff WILL NOT lead the Detroit Lions to WIN in the Playoffs. No Division Title either and certainly no Super Bowl. Cam Newton is a Winner with God-Given Talents and Abilities. He would give the Detroit Lions exactly what they have been looking for in a Quarterback.

    • No… he absolutely fucking wouldn’t… have you not seen him play over the last 5 years? How is he an improvement over Goff? Yaya, he won stuff… that was a long ass time ago. He isn’t even a shell of the shell of the player anymore. Stop lying to yourself. There is a reason no one has signed him yet…

  3. Irresponsible journalism. You should decide on what fast-food shack you, your editor and publisher will work at. Effin disgusting journalism. You’re the reason newspapers are dead and i will never clickbait.

  4. The lions going to have a record breaking year this year and they going to the super bowl. April fool.

  5. W. G. Brady, I will not read another thing you write. You are a liar. April Fools Day, it’s a day to encourage lying and say it’s all in the name of good fun.
    I have a great sense of humor, but I have no patience for a lie of any kind, I can’t trust and don’t trust anyone who lies.

  6. How dare you use April Fools Day to make a joke? You sir are an asshole for having offended all these whiny pussy people. I, like the rest of these snowflakes began looking forward to watching Cam Newton bring his mediocre ass to Detroit to do what he used to do 10 seasons ago for like half a game and then prove himself to be exactly what he is at this point. A guy who is NOT capable of leading anNFL team to any real success.

    Breaking news: you’re all totally NOT acting like bitches over something that shouldn’t even matter in your everyday lives. April Fools… you totally all are.

  7. April fools jokes are the one day the news rags have to explain away their lies, the rest of the year it is just fake, uninformed opinion nonsense they spew

  8. When you are a professional news agency April 1 is just another day. You credibility is damaged. If that was your goal: Well done.

  9. Lol if anyone believed this even for a second, that’s on you. It’s the turn of April and Cam doesn’t have the skillset nor the locker room presence we’d want in Detroit.

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